Once change starts…things are never the same again.

It never fails, once changed has been initiated, your world is altered forever.

No matter how much you fight it, or try to explain it away, the reality is that it will never go back to “when it was good” or the way it was before.

We try so hard to keep things from changing in our world, especially when it is what we thought we wanted, or needed, in our life.  What we need to accept is that change happens for a reason. Somehow, someone in your world isn’t happy with the way things are. They initiate the change. And you have to deal with it.

A wisdom I’ve learned over the years is to “go with the flow.” The times I have tried to fight the inevitable, I’ve always lost. Even if I think I’ve won, things never go back to the way they were. Feelings are changed forever. Maybe not drastically, but its definitely different.

Sometimes it feel like you are getting bombarded with a lot of changes all at once. It’s exhausting! That’s when you need to get more sleep. Try to remain calm. Exercise. Breath! Do whatever you derive comfort from. It’s also important to remind yourself  what’s really important in life.

The smoother we can handle these times of transition, the sooner it will be over. Fighting prolongs the pain of change. Accepting the new conditions shortens the recovery period.

Acceptance is the key. Choose to respond in a positive way. Make the most of the situation, what ever it is. Don’t participate in the negative. This too will pass. Life will settle back down, and you will be happy again.

Happy Living!

Christia

The Most Selfish Woman in America!

Isn’t it amazing how all of the sudden you wake up one day and your whole life is changing…again?

You know, that time period between the divorce and your finally being on your own, literally?

It comes in phases.

Phase I:  the actual divorce and your ex moving out

Phase II: the recovery period, where you try to catch your breath and make sense of it all

Phase III: when you start to see the beauty of your future, and focus on achieving your Dream Life

Phase IV: when your children start moving out, for what ever reason, and you’re OK with it.

The order of the last two can interchange. But it’s amazing how fast that time passes…

None of us can completely control how this unfolds, because there are too many factors involved that you don’t have control over. Like how other people will act or react to what has happened to your family. The dynamics of that are volatile.  Depending on how hurt the feelings are of the participants dictates how rough the transition will be.

Hopefully you will have the time you need in each phase to be emotionally ready for the next one.

But the reality is that you can wake up one day and get thrown into a phase that you are not ready for.

You are going along, thinking you have a handle on the changes that your life has taken. Then all of the sudden, you get hit in the head with, yet again, another big change. Damn! How long is this going to keep happening? Enough already!

Brace yourself:  Your survival technique has to be go with the flow.The more you fight the inevitable, the harder your life becomes. And usually people fight the inevitable because they want to think they can control everything, or they don’t want to face the change.

Remember, once the change has been initiated, things will never go back to what they once were, no matter now much you fight against it, or for it.

You have to accept the fact that you can only control how you are going to respond to what happens, not what happens!

The sooner you learn this lesson, the sooner you can control the type of life you will live.

Make the conscious choice to respond positively to whatever life dishes out. You need to enjoy life on a daily basis. You never know what tomorrow will bring, especially if your recent history is any indication!

You have to break that unhappy cycle. You have to decide that you are not going to participate in the negative anymore. It’s all up to you!

Remember, it’s your turn to be happy for a change. It’s your turn to be a SELFISH WOMAN! YOU DESERVE IT!

Happy Living!

Christia

The Most Selfish Woman in America!

One of my favorite sports commentators is Mary Carillo. She describes the world of women’s tennis as “Big Babe Tennis.” I love that!

Here is my hommage to that description:

I choose to live in the “Big Babe World.”

I will never be that skinny, gaunt woman in the room, who is too worried about how she looks to other people (not to mention grumpy from hunger). Or who is too self-conscious to voice her opinions, and enjoy her life.

I will be the healthy, happy woman in the room, who is commanding attention, and glowing with confidence.

We have to start working with what Mother Nature gave us, and stop thinking we have to be something we are not.

Exercising, being active, enjoying your life, and living in the “Big Babe World” is a conscious decision. Make it!

One aspect of living in the “Big Babe World” is making the most of our physical self. Not striving for the unrealistic image projected by the media. It’s being the best our body can be.

This is where exercise comes in. It just takes discipline, which you are needing in other parts of your life right now, anyway. If you can master self-discipline here, you can apply it to all other areas of your life.

Think about it this way:  You will be taking control of your body and health, just like you are taking control of your life and your happiness.

The results will be confidence and pride, not to mention a sexier, healthier, happier You! And we haven’t even talked about the endorphins you get. How great it that?

Also, increase your basic daily activity level. Go out as often as possible. And I don’t mean cruising. I mean taking the dog for a walk, going to see live music in the park, enjoying different festivals in your town. What ever form it takes, explore where you live. You will be increasing your daily caloric use, and having fun at the same time.

The more you get out and do new things, the more active your life is, and the more you expose yourself to new experiences and new people.

This is one of our goals.

Another aspect of living in the “Big Babe World” is living large in your personality.

Being the dynamic personality that you have inside, you just haven’t always had the confidence to let it shine.

This is another one of our goals.

We are going to work on that….. aren’t we?

Happy Living!

Christia

The Most Selfish Woman in America!

Today I want us to focus on a powerful thought: “What you focus on expands.”

In T. Harv Eker’s book Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, he talks about the Law of Intention. When you focus on an idea, or goal, forces in the universe will fall into place to bring about that which you are focusing on. Your subconscious will go to work making your goal your reality.  I’ve heard this concept in many forms from many sources. It’s like planting a seed in your subconscious and letting it be nourished by your thoughts and actions.

So in turn, the more you focus on your Dream Life, the more positive energy you feed that dream to grow into your reality.

This is a huge concept. It proves the power of the mind. The catch is that you have to have the discipline to maintain a positive flow of energy toward the goal you desire.

Since our goal is to achieve the Dream Life you have always wanted, this should be your main focus.

Get a cork board, index cards, and a bold colored marker. On the index cards, write power words that motivate you, and pin them on your board. Put the board in the most visible place in your house.

You know the words I’m talking about…Powerful, Dynamic, Successful, Motivated, Vivacious, Vibrant, Wealthy, Happy, Peaceful.

Whatever the words are that describe the characteristics you want to possess belong on the board. And put it in the room you spend the most time in. I know…get 2 boards, and put one where you put on your makeup, and the other one where you spend the most time.

The more you look at these words, the more you think about these words, the more power they will have. The more you focus on these characteristics, the sooner you will develop them. Remember, what you focus on expands.

This concept works in all aspects of your life. The power of it is unlimited. The only limit is you.

Happy Living!

Christia

The Most Selfish Woman in America!

I’m thinking that right about now you are in need of a thrill injection.

You know, one of those moments that takes your breath away… and you don’t even need a man around! That’s what I’m talking about.

One of those “Oh my God, I can’t believe I’m about to do this” moments. One of those “take your breath away” moments.

We are taking a moment here to clear up all thoughts and jokes I hear faintly in the background before we go on…  yes, I still like men.

What does that activity look like for you? What have you always dreamed of doing, but it wasn’t “convenient”… or easy to accomplish… or it’s a little too scary to really do?

Jump out of a plane, white water raft, fly through the air on a flying trapeze, climb a mountain…ok, maybe just buy that first thong (the underwear kind), and let yourself flirt wildly. Even if no one sees it, you’ll know it’s there.

Dance with total abandon, as if no one is watching. Wear the highest heals you have (or buy some) and walk down the most “happenin’” street in your town, with a serious attitude.

What ever it looks like… decide what it is… and without too much thought… do it! You are in need of some excitement! Out of the ordinary excitement!

The kind of “I’m not sure I want anyone else to know” excitement. “But I did it! And it was just for me! Because It’s My Turn!”

This is not the “abandon all morals” thrill. This is the “I can’t believe I had the courage to do it” thrill.

Remember, It’s Your Turn Now! It’s all about You! You deserve it!

Welcome to Your New World!

Happy Living!

Christia

The Most Selfish Woman in America!

PS: Soon I will let you know what “SELFISH” really means…

Ok, it’s time… time to become a Selfish Woman.

Time to start thinking of Yourself first for a change. Time to stop putting Yourself on the back burner. Time to take control of Your future!

You know who you are…the newly divorced, mid life woman who has been serving everyone else in her world but herself. Your kids are either sprouting wings and flying the coop, or just about to. You have either been a stay home Mom, or juggling being a Mom and working for the almighty dollar.

And chances are you don’t even like your job anymore. It’s not what you always dreamed you would be doing. And it’s safe to say your Life didn’t turn out the way you imagined… well, never fear! I’m here to help!

Now… I’m thinking you’ve lost about 200 lbs. recently…in the form of a man, am I right? You are reevaluating your life, and wondering how you ever got here in the first place. Well, I’m with you, Sister!

But don’t worry, I’m here to teach you how to become a Selfish Woman. A Woman who chooses to be a happy, positive and dynamic force, because she is worth it! Not a sad, vengeful, and bitter person. We don’t need any more of those in the world.

I will help you become the vibrant, powerful and successful person you were meant to be. The real you that just got lost in that “old life”  you are now breaking free from.

Think about it this way:  Your divorce is the best thing that ever happened to You!

Really! Whatever the reason, the reality is that it happened. And for it to have happened, you were no longer being treated or respected the way you deserve. Period. It doesn’t matter if it was fair, right, wrong, whatever. The fact is that your relationship would have never gone back to the way it was in the “good days”. He will never change, and you can’t make him. It doesn’t work that way.

Now, to be clear, there are two types of women in this situation:  the one who tried to keep the marriage together for whatever reason, i.e. kids, love, etc., and the one who caused the reason for the divorce in the first place.  This blog is for the former. The latter can go on with her day. Bubye!

Now, back to what we are here for. This will be a journey for all of us. But this will be one of the best jouneys you’ve ever had. The outcome will be a more powerful, successful, vivacious You, who chooses to be happy, positive, and enjoy Life.

Happy Living!

Christia

The Most Selfish Woman In America!