Don’t you just hate it when you discover that you are human?
You go along being the strong one… deflecting the incoming… cleaning up the debris.
Then all of the sudden you are the emotional one. You, the one who never lets them see you cry… and yet now it just takes over without asking! What’s that about?
Now is when you have to put your hands up and say ”Take it God! I need your help!”
I’ve always prided myself on being bullet proof when it come to emotional control. But lately, I’m being humbled. The amount of change that has hit me all at once seems really BIG.
I’m sure this is a lesson that I needed to learn. But, damn, I hate it! It Hurts! And I don’t like “Hurts!” And I don’t like to cry. I look UGLY when I cry. I say again, UGLY!
I’m so tired of this sh**. I got a divorce trying to get away from any more of this sh**. And the reality is, you can’t escape it. As long as you have mutual children, you can’t escape. That is the hard, fast reality of marrying the wrong person. Even divorcing them isn’t good enough!
But you know what? I will no longer choose to participate in his chaos. It sucks the life out of me, and I have consciously made the decision not to live like that any more. Ever!
I don’t want to perpetuate that negative, ugly way of living. I will never participate again. That is my promise to myself.
Yes, I may be hurt again, but I will still choose to respond with a positive attitude. If I don’t, who will? If I don’t lead by example, again, who will?
The time to change is now! It is time to be a SELFISH WOMAN who chooses to respond to life in a positive way. To enjoy life to the fullest, no matter what. To put myself first!
You can’t do that if your panties are in a wad. Period!
Enough said.
Happy Living!
Christia
The Most Selfish Woman in America!
