How great is it to have the opportunity to start over? Start fresh! Begin again!
Wow! There is some serious power in that. It almost takes my breath away…. almost.
But I still have enough where withall to seize this chance to make the life I’ve always wanted for myself. No excuses, no hesitation, no holding back. There is nothing to fear but fear itself!
Back on the track that I know will bring me success, and happiness. Excited to embark on my new existence. I can feel it… really! I can feel it in my smile, my step and my attitude. I’m happy almost all the time, which is a blessing unto itself. I’m thinking positively. I’m glad to get up each morning. I’m where I need to be to make this Dream a reality. Thank you God.
No more listening to others who worry that I’m not being realistic. No more listening to people who think I should fit some mold that THEY are comfortable with. No more letting anyone sour my ambition and excitement by their insecurity.
Last year really sucked, no matter how hard I tried to make it better. Just think if I hadn’t chosen to respond positively to the negative… I would have been a basket case, trust me. But that is a testament to how important it is to choose a positive response to life. I didn’t want to end up at the bottom of a crevasse… the end of my dreams… because someone else was pissed at me for divorcing them.
Well, no more! I will bloom as the person I know I am, and never succumb to the opinions of others. Never again!
I’m getting new exercise shoes for the new year. I’ve got a new attitude in the form of a fabulous new hair do. I’ve got a new interest in doing things that make me feel and look good. Like I said before, this year is all about ME!
I encourage you to join me. It’s OUR turn to be exactly who WE want to be! OUR turn to not listen to anyone or anything that will get in our way! Those days are OVER!
It’s all about US!
Again, thank you God!
Happy Living!
Christia
The Most Selfish Woman in America!
It’s time for you to get comfortable with the word “Pleasure”.
It’s time for you to start getting pleasure from your everyday life. Whether it’s grocery shopping, watching your child’s practice, getting your hair done… enjoy yourself.
Life is too short to not have fun. But if you aren’t a naturally happy person, or things are just tough right now, you are going to have to make a conscious effort to get the most out of your daily life.
Then there are those of us who feel a twinge of guilt when we do something strictly for our own pleasure… hearing those old tapes that tell us we are being self centered for doing anything that is just for us. I hate those old tapes… But that comes from our old, unhappily married life… and we are living in our new, positive, fulfilling life.
Don’t look back, and don’t listen! Get comfortable with pleasure. It’s good for your soul.
Now, you can’t always dial “something exciting” into your day. So you have to derive pleasure when you can. And it doesn’t have to be anything big, although that is fun. Just taking time to sit out in the sun, eyes closed, facing the sky, soaking in the warmth. Or buying your favorite cup of the “holiday coffee”. Or adding that favorite piece of vintage jewelry to your everyday outfit – just for fun. Wearing your favorite, most expensive perfume with jeans and a t-shirt. Or wearing risque underwear under your work clothes…. Shall I go on?
Then, of course, there is the intentional pleasure. Luxurious bubble bath, fabulous metallic pumps, spa day, weekend getaway, your favorite champagne in your favorite flute just to celebrate the day. Light those candles on a daily basis. Have fresh flowers on the counter in your favorite vase. Again, it doesn’t have to be big, just pleasurable.
You add a whole different dimension to daily life when you take a minute to enjoy yourself. If you are getting pleasure from the little things in life, you are feeding your soul and spirit. There is an inner peace that come from happiness. And we can build that inner peace on a daily basis by taking care of your own emotional needs to feel special, and pampered.
And if you don’t do it, who will? If you take care of your own needs now, you will be stronger when the next “storm blows in.”
And don’t forget, It’s Your Turn!
You are a Selfish Woman who deserves to enjoy everyday of her life!
Happy Living!
Christia
The Most Selfish Woman in America!
As wrong as it is, bad things happen to everybody.
Being the control freaks/problem solvers we are, we think we could or should have been able to prevent this stab in the heart, whatever form it takes. We over analyze the signs we should have seen, or how we could have planned ahead to avoid the dreaded outcome.
Reality is we can’t! No matter how hard we try to control everything in our world to keep negative things from happening, they still do. As long as other people are involved in the equation, you do not have the ultimate control. All of their “baggage” can’t help but seep into their interaction with other people, and there you are, effected by other peoples’ “stuff.” They’ve had a whole other life happen long before you were exposed to them, and you don’t know where they’ve been!
The sooner you face this, the happier your life will be. The sooner you embrace the idea of going with the flow, the healthier and less stressful your existence will be. All you can control is how you choose to respond to what happen to you. That is in your control.
You can choose to respond with a positive attitude, and make sure things turn out in the best way possible, or you can wallow in self pity, pout… still not changing anything… and prolong the misery. Your Choice!
There is an instant freedom in this reality. Once you accept the fact that you are not responsible for what happens to everything and everyone in your life, you think about things differently. Your creative juices flow free and clear again. You don’t take everything so personally. Your ability to choose a positive response becomes much easier. You don’t have the burden of the world on your shoulders anymore. You get back in emotional balance. You are able to enjoy life again.
And isn’t that what life should be about?
Happy Living!
Christia
The Most Selfish Woman in America!
Ok, finally, here is the meaning of SELFISH, as in The Most Selfish Woman in America:
S – being selfish for a change, thinking of yourself first, not last anymore, because IT’S YOUR TURN! Dammit!
E - living an energetic lifestyle
L – laughing, enjoying life, and choosing a positive response to life
F – feeding your body with clean, lean, natural foods
I - intelligence – feeding your mind and soul through traveling, learning and loving
S – being the successful, powerful woman you were meant to be
H – being happy with yourself and the new life you’ve created.
That’s my definition of SELFISH.
It is truly being a dynamic, powerful woman who enjoys life to the fullest. It’s teaching others to do the same. It’s spreading the word that we can all be that vibrant force we were born to be.
Newly divorced women need to hear this message. They need to be reminded that they can rise up out of the darkness, and be the fabulous person they were meant to be.
Somehow we get lost in our “life.” We get lost in our job as mother, comforter, protector, nurturer, wife. Then, when that period of our life is over, we aren’t quite sure how we got “lost” in the first place. It happened so fast. With no warning. That’s all we know.
Well not any more! Things have changed. Quickly! So it’s time to regroup, and think of yourself first for a change.
It’s time to live my definition of SELFISH! And with no regrets! The term SELFISH is only offensive to those who don’t know what I’m talking about. And they aren’t a part of this conversation.
It is about pulling yourself up, and living the life you were always meant to live. To be the person God meant for you to be. To be a leader, not a victim.
And you can achieve all of this if you have the courage to trust yourself, and believe you can be the best woman you can be. It’s all in your control!
Happy Living!
Christia
The Most Selfish Woman in America!
Isn’t it amazing how all of the sudden you wake up one day and your whole life is changing…again?
You know, that time period between the divorce and your finally being on your own, literally?
It comes in phases.
Phase I: the actual divorce and your ex moving out
Phase II: the recovery period, where you try to catch your breath and make sense of it all
Phase III: when you start to see the beauty of your future, and focus on achieving your Dream Life
Phase IV: when your children start moving out, for what ever reason, and you’re OK with it.
The order of the last two can interchange. But it’s amazing how fast that time passes…
None of us can completely control how this unfolds, because there are too many factors involved that you don’t have control over. Like how other people will act or react to what has happened to your family. The dynamics of that are volatile. Depending on how hurt the feelings are of the participants dictates how rough the transition will be.
Hopefully you will have the time you need in each phase to be emotionally ready for the next one.
But the reality is that you can wake up one day and get thrown into a phase that you are not ready for.
You are going along, thinking you have a handle on the changes that your life has taken. Then all of the sudden, you get hit in the head with, yet again, another big change. Damn! How long is this going to keep happening? Enough already!
Brace yourself: Your survival technique has to be go with the flow.The more you fight the inevitable, the harder your life becomes. And usually people fight the inevitable because they want to think they can control everything, or they don’t want to face the change.
Remember, once the change has been initiated, things will never go back to what they once were, no matter now much you fight against it, or for it.
You have to accept the fact that you can only control how you are going to respond to what happens, not what happens!
The sooner you learn this lesson, the sooner you can control the type of life you will live.
Make the conscious choice to respond positively to whatever life dishes out. You need to enjoy life on a daily basis. You never know what tomorrow will bring, especially if your recent history is any indication!
You have to break that unhappy cycle. You have to decide that you are not going to participate in the negative anymore. It’s all up to you!
Remember, it’s your turn to be happy for a change. It’s your turn to be a SELFISH WOMAN! YOU DESERVE IT!
Happy Living!
Christia
The Most Selfish Woman in America!
At this point in your life, you are in need of a transformation.
After enduring the dynamics of a divorce, and the scars that it creates, it’s time to transform your old life into your Dream Life. The Life you always imagined living, but didn’t quite make.
What is that picture you had in your mind… the Dream Life you knew you were destined to live? The image may be vague at first, because it’s been suppressed for so long. But concentrate on seeing it in your mind. The clearer you can see it, the sooner you can add details to it. Details make the image concrete. The more concrete, the more attainable.
Transforming your life is part of your divorce recovery process. Rising above that which held you down. Rising above that old life, and transforming into your new life!
Only you can change for the better. It won’t be done for you. Only you can make the changes needed to propel you into your Dream Life.
It’s Your Turn! Transform Yourself! You are worth it!
Happy Living!
Christia
The Most Selfish Woman in America!
Ok, it’s time… time to become a Selfish Woman.
Time to start thinking of Yourself first for a change. Time to stop putting Yourself on the back burner. Time to take control of Your future!
You know who you are…the newly divorced, mid life woman who has been serving everyone else in her world but herself. Your kids are either sprouting wings and flying the coop, or just about to. You have either been a stay home Mom, or juggling being a Mom and working for the almighty dollar.
And chances are you don’t even like your job anymore. It’s not what you always dreamed you would be doing. And it’s safe to say your Life didn’t turn out the way you imagined… well, never fear! I’m here to help!
Now… I’m thinking you’ve lost about 200 lbs. recently…in the form of a man, am I right? You are reevaluating your life, and wondering how you ever got here in the first place. Well, I’m with you, Sister!
But don’t worry, I’m here to teach you how to become a Selfish Woman. A Woman who chooses to be a happy, positive and dynamic force, because she is worth it! Not a sad, vengeful, and bitter person. We don’t need any more of those in the world.
I will help you become the vibrant, powerful and successful person you were meant to be. The real you that just got lost in that “old life” you are now breaking free from.
Think about it this way: Your divorce is the best thing that ever happened to You!
Really! Whatever the reason, the reality is that it happened. And for it to have happened, you were no longer being treated or respected the way you deserve. Period. It doesn’t matter if it was fair, right, wrong, whatever. The fact is that your relationship would have never gone back to the way it was in the “good days”. He will never change, and you can’t make him. It doesn’t work that way.
Now, to be clear, there are two types of women in this situation: the one who tried to keep the marriage together for whatever reason, i.e. kids, love, etc., and the one who caused the reason for the divorce in the first place. This blog is for the former. The latter can go on with her day. Bubye!
Now, back to what we are here for. This will be a journey for all of us. But this will be one of the best jouneys you’ve ever had. The outcome will be a more powerful, successful, vivacious You, who chooses to be happy, positive, and enjoy Life.
Happy Living!
Christia
The Most Selfish Woman In America!
