We live for feelings. That’s why we do what we do in the first place – for the feeling it give us.

Whether it is for the thrill, the fear, the peace, the turmoil, the happiness or the sadness (which I really don’t get) we base decisions on how an action will make us feel.

It’s not the act of acquiring things, it’s the feeling we get when we do so. It’s not the accomplishment we make, it’s how it makes us feel when we have accomplished something.

Think about it – when we do something nice for someone, it makes us feel good. And yes, there are people out there that will be mean to someone and it makes them feel good. Evil, I know, but true none the less.

So if feelings dictate actions, we can satisfy the feelings we want and need by our actions. We can choose how we are going to feel.

If you are at a place in your life where you are making big changes in your daily existence, you can choose how successful those changes are going to be by your actions. You can choose your actions by how they are going to make you feel. If every decision gets closer and closer to your Dream Life, you are going to feel happy, empowered and alive! And with the accomplishment of each stage of change, you will be building positive momentum that will carry you even faster toward your goal.

Feelings can be good. Feelings can be a great motivator. But feelings can also suck the life out of you. What you must learn is that you have complete control over how you are going to feel. No one can make you feel guilty but yourself. No one can make you feel inferior but yourself. Only YOU can accept those feelings. If you don’t accept them, you don’t feel them! It’s that easy! Did I just bury the lead???

The most empowering thing you can do for yourself is set yourself free! Free from all those negative, life-sucking, energy-draining feelings other people have tried to instill in you for their own purpose. You can’t be a power to contend with if you are weak and sad. You are much easier to dominate if you are subservient and powerless.

To HELL with that!

You don’t ever have to feel that again! Ever! You can choose to accept those feelings or you can choose to never accept those feelings again! Period!

Most of the pain and sadness we harbor is of our own choosing. For some reason we choose to hang on to memories that make us feel that way. But we don’t have to! We can release ourselves from those feelings and refuse to accept them anymore.

Yes, we all have had sad things happen in our past, and yes, the event was sad. But you don’t have to continue to be sad over the memory. It doesn’t change the outcome of the past, but it does change the outcome of the future.

Set yourself free! Choose your feelings! Choose how happy you are going to be! Choose how successful you are going to be! It is all in your control!

Happy Living!

Christia

The Most Selfish Woman in America!

In my acronym for the word SELFISH in The Most Selfish Woman in America, the letter L is for Laughter. It’s all about enjoying life and choosing a positive attitude. Because that IS your choice.

Attitude is everything! I repeat:  Attitude is everything!

It’s what separates the good from the bad, the strong from the weak, the happy from the sad.

And happiness is a choice, not a side effect of a circumstance. It is all in your control.

You can dictate the outcome of almost any situation by how you choose to respond to it.

The way you react to what happens to you is completely in your control. Yes, bad things happen to good people. Life happens to everybody! But the way we respond to it reveals our true character.

You can choose to whine and pout, still not changing what has already happened, and making yourself feel miserable. Or you can choose a positive response to a bad situation, making yourself feel less of a victim, and more in control of the outcome. This choice will accelerate your recovery from whatever life dishes out.

You will never make a successful recovery from your divorce if you continue to feed energy to that old phase of your life. Every time you talk about it, you are perpetuating it’s power over you and giving it a life line. And it doesn’t deserve it! Flip off that life support Sister! Quick!

The sooner you take that power away from your old life, the sooner you will feel the positive power of your new choices. Like I said, happiness is a choice, not a side effect.

It’s good to be happy for a change! It’s good to feel in control! It’s good to be a SELFISH WOMAN!

Happy Living!

Christia

The Most Selfish Woman in America!

After seven days of my magic “elixir” and protein regiment, I lost five pounds. Yes, it was mostly water weight, but I needed to get that off my body so I could see what really needs to be done.

Now I know what I have to do next. Luckily I like exercising and being active. I feel energetic and vibrant when I’m consistently power-walking and lifting weights. I think more clearly and sleep more deeply. So, back to my power-walking five times a week, and lifting free weights three times a week.

And none too soon. Shorts and bathing suits are peaking out from the depths the closet, and I’m not ready! But I will be if it kills me!

I’m also going to stick with eating small meals four times a day. I am so motivated by the results I had from the first seven days that I’m going to continue the same regiment and add fruit. I’ll do this until I get to the size I want. Remember the more different colors you eat in a day the better.

I am actually looking forward to getting up in the mornings and getting at it again. I’m excited about how much better I’m feeling and how much more energized I am. I don’t work well with that sluggish feeling. It makes me grumpy. And it’s hard to feel sassy when you feel grumpy!

To recap, 2-3 oz. of lean protein and 1 cup of veggies four times a day, about every three hours. Drink 100 oz. of water each day. I put a little cayenne pepper and fresh lemon juice to the water. The cayenne increases your metabolism and the fresh lemon juice has a natural diuretic effect. And now I’m also adding about 1/2 cup of fruit each time. Good fruit choices are berries of all kinds, pineapple, papaya, grapefruit, cherries, kiwi, mango and melon. Stick with the fruits of the season.

The fresh fruits and vegetables will have an energizing effect on your body, which in turn will make you feel vibrant and renewed. Behold the power of food!

So there you go. If it works for me, it will work for you. You just have to plan ahead and be prepared to take your meals and water where ever you go. It’s just as easy to take two storage containers with food to work as it is one. It’s also easy to plan your meals around meetings or carpool.

Also, when you need to eat out with family or for business, don’t sweat it. Just enjoy yourself, then get back on your eating plan. Consistency is the key. Your splurging now and again isn’t going to ruin your progress. It might even help keep you motivated!

Don’t ever beat yourself up for “falling off the wagon.” Just get back on! There is no room for guilt here. It’s fun to splurge now and again. It’s natural. It makes life fun.

But the confidence and pleasure you get when you take control of your body and your life is also fun! Try it!

Happy Living!

Christia

The Most Selfish Woman in America!

This year I’m going to give you the secret that is the basic foundation to a new healthy, happy, You!

As you remember, the F in SELFISH stands for the food you fuel your body with. Clean, lean, organic, non-processed foods. That’s it!

If you can hunt it, catch it, pick it, or pluck it (I got that from Dr. Jonny Bowden), you are good to go. Just not processed. Nothing that needs to be processed to be able to eat, like pasta, bread, chips, pretzels, or anything made in a factory.

Now don’t get hung up on the small stuff. “What about potatoes, rice…?” Just remember the more that has to be done to the raw food, the less beneficial if is to your body. If you are eating a rainbow of colors at each meal, you won’t have to worry about whether you eat potatoes or not. If you can adopt the idea of straight from nature, cleaned, cut up, maybe cooked, then eaten, you will be getting the most nutritional bang for your buck. Period.

Yes, there are a few exceptions:

• Tomatoes, which are great for you raw, but when cooked with oil, the lycopene is more easily absorbed, so tomato sauce and tomato paste from cans, as long as they are organic, are still good for your body.
• Olives have to go through a process to be eatable and not bitter. This is obviously worth the processing because of all it’s omega-3 qualities.
• Beans are another food that can retain their nutritional benefits and still come from a can.
• Cheese is another food that goes through a process, but as long as it is a minimal, natural process, and eaten sparingly, it’s ok.  No processed cheese spreads, blocks, or whizzes! I mean it!
• Almond milk and soy milk are also processed but still good for you, so stick with the organic varieties.
• And of course there’s wine, which goes through a process to be drinkable, but what can I say… it’s the elixir of life!

So you get the idea. The less done to the natural state of food, the better it is for your body. You just have to get use embrace that mind set, and make it your default. Your question at each meal is “How processed is this food?” If the food is just seasoned, sauteed, sauce made from the pan drippings, a squeeze of citrus, and it’s on your plate, you are good to go. If it has been chemically processed to look a certain way, or taste a certain way, or came from a can or package, run… run like the wind!

It is a simple as that!

Cheers to your health and happiness!

Happy Living!

Christia

The Most Selfish Woman in America!

How great is it to have the opportunity to start over?  Start fresh!  Begin again!

Wow!  There is some serious power in that.  It almost takes my breath away…. almost.

But I still have enough where withall to seize this chance to make the life I’ve always wanted for myself.  No excuses, no hesitation, no holding back.  There is nothing to fear but fear itself!

Back on the track that I know will bring me success, and happiness. Excited to embark on my new existence. I can feel it… really!  I can feel it in my smile, my step and my attitude. I’m happy almost all the time, which is a blessing unto itself. I’m thinking positively. I’m glad to get up each morning. I’m where I need to be to make this Dream a reality. Thank you God.

No more listening to others who worry that I’m not being realistic.  No more listening to people who think I should fit some mold that THEY are comfortable with.  No more letting anyone sour my ambition and excitement by their insecurity.

Last year really sucked, no matter how hard I tried to make it better. Just think if I hadn’t chosen to respond positively to the negative… I would have been a basket case, trust me. But that is a testament to how important it is to choose a positive response to life. I didn’t want to end up at the bottom of a crevasse… the end of my dreams… because someone else was pissed at me for divorcing them.

Well, no more! I will bloom as the person I know I am, and never succumb to the opinions of others. Never again!

I’m getting new exercise shoes for the new year. I’ve got a new attitude in the form of a fabulous new hair do. I’ve got a new interest in doing things that make me feel and look good. Like I said before, this year is all about ME!

I encourage you to join me. It’s OUR turn to be exactly who WE want to be! OUR turn to not listen to anyone or anything that will get in our way! Those days are OVER!

It’s all about US!

Again, thank you God!

Happy Living!

Christia

The Most Selfish Woman in America!

It’s time for you to get comfortable with the word “Pleasure”.

It’s time for you to start getting pleasure from your everyday life. Whether it’s grocery shopping, watching your child’s practice, getting your hair done… enjoy  yourself.

Life is too short to not have fun. But if you aren’t a naturally happy person, or things are just tough right now, you are going to have to make a conscious effort to get the most out of your daily life.

Then there are those of us who feel a twinge of guilt when we do something strictly for our own pleasure… hearing those old tapes that tell us we are being self centered for doing anything that is just for us. I hate those old tapes… But that comes from our old, unhappily married life… and we are living in our new, positive, fulfilling life.

Don’t look back, and don’t listen! Get comfortable with pleasure. It’s good for your soul.

Now, you can’t always dial “something exciting” into your day. So you have to derive pleasure when you can. And it doesn’t have to be anything big, although that is fun. Just taking time to sit out in the sun, eyes closed, facing the sky, soaking in the warmth. Or buying your favorite cup of the “holiday coffee”. Or adding that favorite piece of vintage jewelry to your everyday outfit – just for fun. Wearing your favorite, most expensive perfume with jeans and a t-shirt. Or wearing risque underwear under your work clothes…. Shall I go on?

Then, of course, there is the intentional pleasure. Luxurious bubble bath, fabulous metallic pumps, spa day, weekend getaway, your favorite champagne in your favorite flute just to celebrate the day. Light those candles on a daily basis. Have fresh flowers on the counter in your favorite vase. Again, it doesn’t have to be big, just pleasurable.

You add a whole different dimension to daily life when you take a minute to enjoy yourself. If you are getting pleasure from the little things in life, you are feeding your soul and spirit. There is an inner peace that come from happiness.  And we can build that inner peace on a daily basis by taking care of your own emotional needs to feel special, and pampered.

And if you don’t do it, who will? If you take care of your own needs now, you will be stronger when the next “storm blows in.”

And don’t forget, It’s Your Turn!

You are a Selfish Woman who deserves to enjoy everyday of her life!

Happy Living!

Christia

The Most Selfish Woman in America!

So you are going along with your daily life, trying to solve the world’s problems, one person at a time, when you start feeling bad. Physically.

Your body starts to act up…. you know, sick.

Your head starts hurting, your stomach is always upset, you start having irregular bleeding… insert your symptom here.

But there you go… still saying yes to the requests made of you. Now I might add here that these are not mandatory obligation, just requests from people who know that if they want something done, to give it to you!

Drum roll…….. now the stress is building. The stress of knowing that you don’t feel good anymore. And that none of the projects you are doing are being done to your standards. Don’t you just hate that!

Stop! Just stop! Stop saying yes to everything that comes your way. Start asking yourself  ”Does this get me any closer to my goal? To my Dream Life?”

If the answer is yes, then do it with gusto. If the answer is no, don’t do it.  Period.

It’s time to prioritize. It’s time to start thinking of yourself first. It’s Your Turn, remember???

When you are aligned with your correct life path, you won’t feel sick. You won’t feel so stressed that it makes you literally ill.

You will feel exhilaration. You will feel happiness. You will be excited to get up every morning. This is our goal for your life.

Happy Living!

Christia

The Most Selfish Woman in America!

Once change starts…things are never the same again.

It never fails, once changed has been initiated, your world is altered forever.

No matter how much you fight it, or try to explain it away, the reality is that it will never go back to “when it was good” or the way it was before.

We try so hard to keep things from changing in our world, especially when it is what we thought we wanted, or needed, in our life.  What we need to accept is that change happens for a reason. Somehow, someone in your world isn’t happy with the way things are. They initiate the change. And you have to deal with it.

A wisdom I’ve learned over the years is to “go with the flow.” The times I have tried to fight the inevitable, I’ve always lost. Even if I think I’ve won, things never go back to the way they were. Feelings are changed forever. Maybe not drastically, but its definitely different.

Sometimes it feel like you are getting bombarded with a lot of changes all at once. It’s exhausting! That’s when you need to get more sleep. Try to remain calm. Exercise. Breath! Do whatever you derive comfort from. It’s also important to remind yourself  what’s really important in life.

The smoother we can handle these times of transition, the sooner it will be over. Fighting prolongs the pain of change. Accepting the new conditions shortens the recovery period.

Acceptance is the key. Choose to respond in a positive way. Make the most of the situation, what ever it is. Don’t participate in the negative. This too will pass. Life will settle back down, and you will be happy again.

Happy Living!

Christia

The Most Selfish Woman in America!

As wrong as it is, bad things happen to everybody.

Being the control freaks/problem solvers we are, we think we could or should have been able to prevent this stab in the heart, whatever form it takes. We over analyze the signs we should have seen, or how we could have planned ahead to avoid the dreaded outcome.

Reality is we can’t! No matter how hard we try to control everything in our world to keep negative things from happening, they still do. As long as other people are involved in the equation, you do not have the ultimate control. All of their “baggage” can’t help but seep into their interaction with other people, and there you are, effected by other peoples’ “stuff.” They’ve had a whole other life happen long before you were exposed to them, and you don’t know where they’ve been!

The sooner you face this, the happier your life will be. The sooner you embrace the idea of going with the flow, the healthier and less stressful your existence will be. All you can control is how you choose to respond to what happen to you. That is in your control.

You can choose to respond with a positive attitude, and make sure things turn out in the best way possible, or you can wallow in self pity, pout… still not changing anything… and prolong the misery. Your Choice!

There is an instant freedom in this reality. Once you accept the fact that you are not responsible for what happens to everything and everyone in your life, you think about things differently. Your creative juices flow free and clear again. You don’t take everything so personally. Your ability to choose a positive response becomes much easier. You don’t have the burden of the world on your shoulders anymore. You get back in emotional balance. You are able to enjoy life again.

And isn’t that what life should be about?

Happy Living!

Christia

The Most Selfish Woman in America!

It’s amazing how powerful an escape from reality can be. Even if just for a few days.

You are working hard to juggle all the changes for your new life. Positive changes, but changes none the less.

It’s very demanding on you mentally and physically. And at some point, you are going to need to step away from your “life”, and take a breather.

But the benefits are astounding!

• You have a renewed passion for making your Dream Life a reality
• You are calm, relaxed and peaceful
• You can see your goals clearly again.
• Not to mention the change in environment can be good for your ego!  (Insert imagination here.)

I just got back from a short trip to the wine country in Sonoma and Napa Valleys in California. The experience was peaceful, beautiful, and restful. I feel whole again. I’m rejuvenated, and ready to finish what I’ve started. I’m back on track to making my Dream Life a reality.

I’m also reminded how visually beautiful life can be. It’s good to be reminded. You can’t improve on Nature. She’s bigger than all of us. But sometimes we get so wrapped up in what seems like an insurmountable task, that we don’t appreciate the beauty and blessings around us. We loose sight of them, along with our goals. But when we step back and take a breath, we can see clearly again, and we remember how much we want to make our goals reality.

It really is possible. It can be done.

AND YOU’RE WORTH IT! GET BACK ON TRACK! MAKE IT HAPPEN!

IT’S YOUR TURN!

Happy Living!

Christia

The Most Selfish Woman in America!