We live for feelings. That’s why we do what we do in the first place – for the feeling it give us.

Whether it is for the thrill, the fear, the peace, the turmoil, the happiness or the sadness (which I really don’t get) we base decisions on how an action will make us feel.

It’s not the act of acquiring things, it’s the feeling we get when we do so. It’s not the accomplishment we make, it’s how it makes us feel when we have accomplished something.

Think about it – when we do something nice for someone, it makes us feel good. And yes, there are people out there that will be mean to someone and it makes them feel good. Evil, I know, but true none the less.

So if feelings dictate actions, we can satisfy the feelings we want and need by our actions. We can choose how we are going to feel.

If you are at a place in your life where you are making big changes in your daily existence, you can choose how successful those changes are going to be by your actions. You can choose your actions by how they are going to make you feel. If every decision gets closer and closer to your Dream Life, you are going to feel happy, empowered and alive! And with the accomplishment of each stage of change, you will be building positive momentum that will carry you even faster toward your goal.

Feelings can be good. Feelings can be a great motivator. But feelings can also suck the life out of you. What you must learn is that you have complete control over how you are going to feel. No one can make you feel guilty but yourself. No one can make you feel inferior but yourself. Only YOU can accept those feelings. If you don’t accept them, you don’t feel them! It’s that easy! Did I just bury the lead???

The most empowering thing you can do for yourself is set yourself free! Free from all those negative, life-sucking, energy-draining feelings other people have tried to instill in you for their own purpose. You can’t be a power to contend with if you are weak and sad. You are much easier to dominate if you are subservient and powerless.

To HELL with that!

You don’t ever have to feel that again! Ever! You can choose to accept those feelings or you can choose to never accept those feelings again! Period!

Most of the pain and sadness we harbor is of our own choosing. For some reason we choose to hang on to memories that make us feel that way. But we don’t have to! We can release ourselves from those feelings and refuse to accept them anymore.

Yes, we all have had sad things happen in our past, and yes, the event was sad. But you don’t have to continue to be sad over the memory. It doesn’t change the outcome of the past, but it does change the outcome of the future.

Set yourself free! Choose your feelings! Choose how happy you are going to be! Choose how successful you are going to be! It is all in your control!

Happy Living!

Christia

The Most Selfish Woman in America!

This year my goal is to give you nutritional and lifestyle information to enrich your daily life.

I want to open your eyes to easy, healthy foods that will make you think clearly, and feel fabulous.  I want you to have enough energy to accomplish your goals. To make your Dream Life a Reality! Because that’s what this is all about anyway, right?  Being the best you can be? Taking control and making your dreams come true?

Your physical well being has more power in your daily life than you realize.  It gives you physical energy, emotional balance, and a personal power that you can’t buy anywhere! It also gives you an inner peace that you can draw on in those stressful times that find us all.

And the fact that you will fit in your favorite clothes… please! You’ve got to love that! This is an area that you have probably been neglecting during your challenging battle with divorce. But all of that is over! Over I say!

This is the F portion of the word SELFISH, in The Most Selfish Woman in America. As you recall, each letter in the word SELFISH means something positive. F is for the foods you fuel your body with. It is all about clean, lean, natural foods. No more processed, chemical laden convenience foods. No drive thrus. No more frozen dinners, no matter what manufacturer makes them. And definitely no vending anything (except water)!

With a little planning, you can have everything you need without all the added toxins in processed foods. You just have to change your mindset. Believe it or not, it will actually save you money. It costs less to make your own than when you add up all the boxed, canned, frozen, foods plus the cost of eating out. Save the eating out for a special occasion.  Save the money for organic foods.

When you make your own food, you control what is in it. It’s that simple. And you can control your food budget by controlling what you buy. If you will only buy clean, lean, organic proteins, fruits and veggies, you will be taking control of your current and future health. You will begin repairing the damage your history of food intake has caused your body. And it’s not to late. Our cells replace themselves from every few hours, to every few years. The foods you give those cells to use now dictates what type of cells are created to replace the old. It’s never too late to make a difference.

Your New Year’s Declaration:

I will take control of my body!

I will take control of my health!

I will take control of my LIFE!

Until tomorrow, class dismissed.

Happy Living!

Christia

The Most Selfish Woman in America!

This last year put me into a tail spin. I’ve had more change in that one year than ever before. Stop already!

I feel like I’m flapping parallel to the ground, holding on to a flimsy flag poll. I need to catch my breath.

What ever happened to moderation? You know, things in small, manageable pieces? I need another vacation!

Now is when I have to remind myself that “this too will pass.” My new mantra.

Now is when I need to be faithful with my affirmation, my positive reinforcing statements of gratefulness. My frame of mind seems to change for the better when I do my affirmations.

For example: “Thank you God for my health, thank you for my discipline, and thank you God for my courage, conviction and determination.”

Or: “Thank you God for my health, thank you for my discipline, and thank you God for my determination, success and happiness.”

The idea of affirmations is that the first statement is being thankful for something you have already accomplished. The second statement is being thankful for something you are currently working on. The third statement is being thankful for 3 things you want to accomplish.

Again, this needs some soul searching. Be honest with your choices. No one has to know. But the power of affirmations is documented, and well worth the exercise. The act of reinforcing your goals is a constant reminder of what you want to accomplish. It seeds the goals into your subconscious, where they are worked on behind the scenes. The more you open yourself up to accomplishment, the sooner it will happen.

Recite your affirmations in the morning before you get out of bed, sometime midday when you can focus on them, and at night before you go to sleep. These statements need to be the first thing on your mind in the morning, and the last thing on your mind at night.

Think of it, focus on it, and make it happen!

Happy Living!

Christia

The Most Selfish Woman in America!

When I think about living my passion, I think about how lucky I am to have another chance to do just that.  And how important it is not to let this opportunity be wasted.

It takes introspection to tap into what that passion looks like. It takes being true to yourself, and not worrying about what other people think you should do.

What I’ve discovered is that my passion is not conventional. It’s not the normal 9-5, working in a cubical job. But that’s also how I know I’m on the right track. I’m not a conventional, 9-5 person, by any stretch of the imagination.

Another way to know that I’m on the right track is that my passion reflects what I’ve been interested in, and have been doing in my life for years. My researching nutrition, supplements, exercise and attitude all this time was an indication that I have a true love for that knowledge. I’ve been sharing it with family and friends all along the way, with a passion I might add.

You may not have had the time to indulge in your passions in your old life. Good news flash: now you do!

Serious soul searching is required here. And don’t edit yourself, like I’ve said before. Think outside the box.

Ask yourself what would make you bound out of bed every morning? What would make you feel like you were contributing to the world?  What would make you glad to be alive?

Now keep a journal of your ideas. Find the common thread. Again, no editing.

How do you feel about that thread? Does it excite you? Give you that chill you’ve been missing? Bring a smile to your face? That is your goal.

Now that I can actually make my passion into a career and lifestyle, the possibilities are endless. And the reality of that is thrilling! But also a little overwhelming. That’s where courage, and a goal plan come in. More on that later.

There aren’t many second chances in life. And we are lucky when we get them. That’s why it is so important to make the most of the opportunity when it comes along.

It is your turn to make the decision on what you are going to do with the rest of your life.

It is time to live your Passion.

It’s time to live your Purpose.

It’s time to live ON PURPOSE.

Happy Living!

Christia

The Most Selfish Woman in America!

Sometimes we are our own worst enemy. It’s true!

We get all motivated to make a big change in our life, but we seem to hit a wall just when we think we can’t fail.

Usually that wall is You! When we visualize making big changes in our lives, we forget to change everything else in our daily routine that would sabotage our success. Habits that we have acquired over the years that seem harmless. Watching TV (even if it’s CNBC), shopping, running errands – insert your habit here.

A New Life requires new habits. Obviously your old habits didn’t encourage change before. So you have to change those old habits.

Start spending your time on activities that help you accomplish your Big Change. Focus. Research. Visualize. Reinforce.

Most big changes in life require new skills. Work on them. New habits. Work on them. New mind set. Work on it.

See it!  Live it!  Be it!

Don’t stand in your own way. The rest of the world will be glad to do that for you.

Use the CPR Approach – Consistence, Persistence and Resistance! It is in your control. Like Jeff Herring says, “be consistent in your actions, persistent in your drive and resistant to set backs and all those who may tell you that you can’t do it.”

Just make sure that with this new change in life, you create new productive habits to support it.

Happy Living!

Christia

The Most Selfish Woman in America!

Once change starts…things are never the same again.

It never fails, once changed has been initiated, your world is altered forever.

No matter how much you fight it, or try to explain it away, the reality is that it will never go back to “when it was good” or the way it was before.

We try so hard to keep things from changing in our world, especially when it is what we thought we wanted, or needed, in our life.  What we need to accept is that change happens for a reason. Somehow, someone in your world isn’t happy with the way things are. They initiate the change. And you have to deal with it.

A wisdom I’ve learned over the years is to “go with the flow.” The times I have tried to fight the inevitable, I’ve always lost. Even if I think I’ve won, things never go back to the way they were. Feelings are changed forever. Maybe not drastically, but its definitely different.

Sometimes it feel like you are getting bombarded with a lot of changes all at once. It’s exhausting! That’s when you need to get more sleep. Try to remain calm. Exercise. Breath! Do whatever you derive comfort from. It’s also important to remind yourself  what’s really important in life.

The smoother we can handle these times of transition, the sooner it will be over. Fighting prolongs the pain of change. Accepting the new conditions shortens the recovery period.

Acceptance is the key. Choose to respond in a positive way. Make the most of the situation, what ever it is. Don’t participate in the negative. This too will pass. Life will settle back down, and you will be happy again.

Happy Living!

Christia

The Most Selfish Woman in America!

Ok, finally, here is the meaning of SELFISH, as in The Most Selfish Woman in America:

S – being selfish for a change, thinking of yourself first, not last anymore, because IT’S YOUR TURN! Dammit!

E - living an energetic lifestyle

L – laughing, enjoying life, and choosing a positive response to life

F – feeding your body with clean, lean, natural foods

I - intelligence – feeding your mind and soul through traveling, learning and loving

S – being the successful, powerful woman you were meant to be

H – being happy with yourself and the new life you’ve created.

That’s my definition of SELFISH.

It is truly being a dynamic, powerful woman who enjoys life to the fullest. It’s teaching others to do the same. It’s spreading the word that we can all be that vibrant force we were born to be.

Newly divorced women need to hear this message. They need to be reminded that they can rise up out of the darkness, and be the fabulous person they were meant to be.

Somehow we get lost in our “life.” We get lost in our job as mother, comforter, protector, nurturer, wife. Then, when that period of our life is over, we aren’t quite sure how we got “lost” in the first place. It happened so fast. With no warning. That’s all we know.

Well not any more! Things have changed. Quickly! So it’s time to regroup, and think of yourself first for a change.

It’s time to live my definition of SELFISH! And with no regrets! The term SELFISH is only offensive to those who don’t know what I’m talking about. And they aren’t a part of this conversation.

It is about pulling yourself up, and living the life you were always meant to live. To be the person God meant for you to be. To be a leader, not a victim.

And you can achieve all of this if you have the courage to trust yourself, and believe you can be the best woman you can be. It’s all in your control!

Happy Living!

Christia

The Most Selfish Woman in America!

Don’t you just hate it when you discover that you are human?

You go along being the strong one… deflecting the incoming… cleaning up the debris.

Then all of the sudden you are the emotional one. You, the one who never lets them see you cry… and yet now it just takes over without asking! What’s that about?

Now is when you have to put your hands up and say  ”Take it God!  I need your help!”

I’ve always prided myself on being bullet proof when it come to emotional control. But lately, I’m being humbled. The amount of change that has hit me all at once seems really BIG.

I’m sure this is a lesson that I needed to learn. But, damn, I hate it! It Hurts! And I don’t like “Hurts!” And I don’t like to cry. I look UGLY when I cry. I say again, UGLY!

I’m so tired of this sh**. I got a divorce trying to get away from any more of this sh**. And the reality is, you can’t escape it. As long as you have mutual children, you can’t escape. That is the hard, fast reality of marrying the wrong person. Even divorcing them isn’t good enough!

But you know what? I will no longer choose to participate in his chaos. It sucks the life out of me, and I have consciously made the decision not to live like that any more. Ever!

I don’t want to perpetuate that negative, ugly way of living. I will never participate again. That is my promise to myself.

Yes, I may be hurt again, but I will still choose to respond with a positive attitude. If I don’t, who will? If I don’t lead by example, again, who will?

The time to change is now! It is time to be a SELFISH WOMAN who chooses to respond to life in a positive way. To enjoy life to the fullest, no matter what. To put myself first!

You can’t do that if your panties are in a wad. Period!

Enough said.

Happy Living!

Christia

The Most Selfish Woman in America!

Isn’t it amazing how all of the sudden you wake up one day and your whole life is changing…again?

You know, that time period between the divorce and your finally being on your own, literally?

It comes in phases.

Phase I:  the actual divorce and your ex moving out

Phase II: the recovery period, where you try to catch your breath and make sense of it all

Phase III: when you start to see the beauty of your future, and focus on achieving your Dream Life

Phase IV: when your children start moving out, for what ever reason, and you’re OK with it.

The order of the last two can interchange. But it’s amazing how fast that time passes…

None of us can completely control how this unfolds, because there are too many factors involved that you don’t have control over. Like how other people will act or react to what has happened to your family. The dynamics of that are volatile.  Depending on how hurt the feelings are of the participants dictates how rough the transition will be.

Hopefully you will have the time you need in each phase to be emotionally ready for the next one.

But the reality is that you can wake up one day and get thrown into a phase that you are not ready for.

You are going along, thinking you have a handle on the changes that your life has taken. Then all of the sudden, you get hit in the head with, yet again, another big change. Damn! How long is this going to keep happening? Enough already!

Brace yourself:  Your survival technique has to be go with the flow.The more you fight the inevitable, the harder your life becomes. And usually people fight the inevitable because they want to think they can control everything, or they don’t want to face the change.

Remember, once the change has been initiated, things will never go back to what they once were, no matter now much you fight against it, or for it.

You have to accept the fact that you can only control how you are going to respond to what happens, not what happens!

The sooner you learn this lesson, the sooner you can control the type of life you will live.

Make the conscious choice to respond positively to whatever life dishes out. You need to enjoy life on a daily basis. You never know what tomorrow will bring, especially if your recent history is any indication!

You have to break that unhappy cycle. You have to decide that you are not going to participate in the negative anymore. It’s all up to you!

Remember, it’s your turn to be happy for a change. It’s your turn to be a SELFISH WOMAN! YOU DESERVE IT!

Happy Living!

Christia

The Most Selfish Woman in America!

Is there some obstacle lingering in your path to accomplishing  your Dream Life? You know, something you can’t quite put your finger on… but it’s holding you back?

Could it be YOU? Could it be your lack of belief if YOURSELF?

It’s time for you to believe in yourself again.  Believe in your abilities to make your life happy again. Make your new career highly successful. Make your Dream Life a reality.

It takes tapping into your inner strength, and trusting your abilities. You have to be courageous. Too long have you let your courage and belief in yourself wain. You must get that back!

It’s your turn to be SELFISH. It’s your turn to get paid for your passion. It’s your turn to be as fabulous as you were meant to be! And the time is NOW!

Are you doing your visualizations faithfully? You know, visualizing your new life, what it looks like, what you look like in it, where you live, what you drive, the type of person your new partner will be…  For a refresher, read my “Secrets to Transforming Your Old Life into Your Dream Life” blog entry.

It is mandatory that you are visualizing the life you want to accomplish at least every morning and every night. The first thing you do before your feet hit the floor, and the last thing you do before you start sawing those logs.

The more detail you give to the vision, the sooner it will become a reality. And don’t edit yourself. Be as lavish in your vision as you want your life to be. You are only limited by your imagination and belief in yourself!

Reminder: You’ve cut out all the negative influences and people from your life, at least for now, right? If not, what are you waiting for? Nothing sucks out the courage and belief in yourself like hearing other people criticize or critique you. And who knows what baggage they’re carrying, or where their comments are coming from. All I know is you have to get away from all that negative nonsense, and focus on your inner strength, courage and conviction to make your Dream Life a reality. Period.

Happy Living!

Christia

The Most Selfish Woman in America!