I used to feel that if everything in my world didn’t turn out perfectly, it was due to my not trying hard enough. Can you say “Control Freak!” Now honestly, who can live up to those standards all the time? NO ONE!

And as soon as I accepted that reality, to relinquish control, I was completely liberated! It’s amazing! Life is so much easier now.

Relinquishing control doesn’t only include controlling the outcome of everything, it also includes feeling the need to be apart of everything.  I only do what I want to do now.  If it’s fundraising, it’s because I want to.  If it’s donating my time to a project, it’s because I want to. And I don’t mind taking the lead, if I can do it my way. Otherwise, I’m busy.

The days of solving everyone else’s problems are over. I only offer advice or my opinion when asked, or when I just can’t help myself. I don’t participate unless I really want to.  As for causes I don’t feel strongly about: instead of taking over when I see deficiencies, which is often, I just back away slowly as to not attract attention. Or I run, run like a wild Ubangi! I also don’t belong to committees anymore. Ugh! There’s too much “discussing” and not enough “doing.”  I’d rather just have my nails pulled out one by one! OR just not participate, preferably the latter.

I don’t know why I use to take things so personally. Unhappy in my life, I guess. Basically, “If anyone can fix it, it’s me!” Whether self imposed or not, “I must not be trying hard enough to make it work.” I felt like I had failed if I couldn’t “fix it”.  How ridiculous is that?

But I don’t want to live that way anymore.  I want to enjoy everything I do. Life is too short for me to try to fix other people. I have my hands full with my own self.

I highly recommend releasing the world to the powers that be. Contribute to the causes you feel strongly about. Participate in situations where you feel you will make a difference.  And let the rest go. Don’t accept all the offers presented to you. You know you don’t want to do all of them anyway. Be selective in how you spend your time.

You will more effective if you are more selective.

Happy Living!

Christia

The Most Selfish Woman in America!

Don’t you just hate it when you discover that you are human?

You go along being the strong one… deflecting the incoming… cleaning up the debris.

Then all of the sudden you are the emotional one. You, the one who never lets them see you cry… and yet now it just takes over without asking! What’s that about?

Now is when you have to put your hands up and say  ”Take it God!  I need your help!”

I’ve always prided myself on being bullet proof when it come to emotional control. But lately, I’m being humbled. The amount of change that has hit me all at once seems really BIG.

I’m sure this is a lesson that I needed to learn. But, damn, I hate it! It Hurts! And I don’t like “Hurts!” And I don’t like to cry. I look UGLY when I cry. I say again, UGLY!

I’m so tired of this sh**. I got a divorce trying to get away from any more of this sh**. And the reality is, you can’t escape it. As long as you have mutual children, you can’t escape. That is the hard, fast reality of marrying the wrong person. Even divorcing them isn’t good enough!

But you know what? I will no longer choose to participate in his chaos. It sucks the life out of me, and I have consciously made the decision not to live like that any more. Ever!

I don’t want to perpetuate that negative, ugly way of living. I will never participate again. That is my promise to myself.

Yes, I may be hurt again, but I will still choose to respond with a positive attitude. If I don’t, who will? If I don’t lead by example, again, who will?

The time to change is now! It is time to be a SELFISH WOMAN who chooses to respond to life in a positive way. To enjoy life to the fullest, no matter what. To put myself first!

You can’t do that if your panties are in a wad. Period!

Enough said.

Happy Living!

Christia

The Most Selfish Woman in America!

Again, it’s time to be SELFISH.

It’s time to successfully make the changes needed to accomplish your Dream Life.

The keys to success are to see what you want, live what you want, and be what you want to be. It’s that powerful!

See it!

Live it!

Be it!

The forces in the universe will align and contribute to making your Dream Life come true. But you have to do your part, which is…repeat after me:

See it!

Live it!

Be it!

Visualize what your Dream Life looks like… what your job is, what house you live in, what car you drive, where you vacation. What your physique looks like, what your hair looks like. What type of man you have sitting in your 2-door convertible, top down, driving up HWY 101 in California, your scarf flapping in the breeze. I can see it!

The more detail you attach to the vision, the more real it will become.

The sooner you start living as if the dream is real, the sooner it will become real. It’s the “live as if” theory.

Live as if you already are that person in your Dream Life. If you believe it, they believe it! Attitude is the greatest asset you have. And it is all in your control.

Attitude is what separates success from failure. Once you achieve a certain level of competence, attitude takes over. Belief in yourself will take you to your goal.

If you want to be a glamourous version of yourself, live like it. If you want to be the vivacious, dynamic person in your vision, be it, live it, just do it!

It doesn’t matter what others say about the new you. You may hear “That’s not the real you!” from old “friends”, but the reality is this is the new you. To hell with them! No one will hold you back from achieving your Dream Life! Especially old “friends!” Remember, you’ve divorced yourself from that mind set. Don’t fall back into it.

Do not tolerate any more negativity in your life. It will only suck the determination out of you. And we can’t have that!

Eliminate as much negative input from your daily life as possible. I’m serious. Cut out the news if you have to. Stop reading the paper, or your stock portfolio. Stop exposing yourself to cynical, negative people. That means family, too. And none of that mindless, draining, numbing TV.

Now is when you need positive reinforcement, not life leaching negativity.

Surround yourself with what makes you happy. Fresh flowers, candles, music, color, laughter, happy people. Now it is more important than ever before to be see the beautiful, positive side of life. It will feed your soul, and give you the strength to make your Dream Life a reality.

Happy Living!

Christia

The Most Selfish Woman in America!