We live for feelings. That’s why we do what we do in the first place – for the feeling it give us.

Whether it is for the thrill, the fear, the peace, the turmoil, the happiness or the sadness (which I really don’t get) we base decisions on how an action will make us feel.

It’s not the act of acquiring things, it’s the feeling we get when we do so. It’s not the accomplishment we make, it’s how it makes us feel when we have accomplished something.

Think about it – when we do something nice for someone, it makes us feel good. And yes, there are people out there that will be mean to someone and it makes them feel good. Evil, I know, but true none the less.

So if feelings dictate actions, we can satisfy the feelings we want and need by our actions. We can choose how we are going to feel.

If you are at a place in your life where you are making big changes in your daily existence, you can choose how successful those changes are going to be by your actions. You can choose your actions by how they are going to make you feel. If every decision gets closer and closer to your Dream Life, you are going to feel happy, empowered and alive! And with the accomplishment of each stage of change, you will be building positive momentum that will carry you even faster toward your goal.

Feelings can be good. Feelings can be a great motivator. But feelings can also suck the life out of you. What you must learn is that you have complete control over how you are going to feel. No one can make you feel guilty but yourself. No one can make you feel inferior but yourself. Only YOU can accept those feelings. If you don’t accept them, you don’t feel them! It’s that easy! Did I just bury the lead???

The most empowering thing you can do for yourself is set yourself free! Free from all those negative, life-sucking, energy-draining feelings other people have tried to instill in you for their own purpose. You can’t be a power to contend with if you are weak and sad. You are much easier to dominate if you are subservient and powerless.

To HELL with that!

You don’t ever have to feel that again! Ever! You can choose to accept those feelings or you can choose to never accept those feelings again! Period!

Most of the pain and sadness we harbor is of our own choosing. For some reason we choose to hang on to memories that make us feel that way. But we don’t have to! We can release ourselves from those feelings and refuse to accept them anymore.

Yes, we all have had sad things happen in our past, and yes, the event was sad. But you don’t have to continue to be sad over the memory. It doesn’t change the outcome of the past, but it does change the outcome of the future.

Set yourself free! Choose your feelings! Choose how happy you are going to be! Choose how successful you are going to be! It is all in your control!

Happy Living!

Christia

The Most Selfish Woman in America!

In my acronym for the word SELFISH in The Most Selfish Woman in America, the letter L is for Laughter. It’s all about enjoying life and choosing a positive attitude. Because that IS your choice.

Attitude is everything! I repeat:  Attitude is everything!

It’s what separates the good from the bad, the strong from the weak, the happy from the sad.

And happiness is a choice, not a side effect of a circumstance. It is all in your control.

You can dictate the outcome of almost any situation by how you choose to respond to it.

The way you react to what happens to you is completely in your control. Yes, bad things happen to good people. Life happens to everybody! But the way we respond to it reveals our true character.

You can choose to whine and pout, still not changing what has already happened, and making yourself feel miserable. Or you can choose a positive response to a bad situation, making yourself feel less of a victim, and more in control of the outcome. This choice will accelerate your recovery from whatever life dishes out.

You will never make a successful recovery from your divorce if you continue to feed energy to that old phase of your life. Every time you talk about it, you are perpetuating it’s power over you and giving it a life line. And it doesn’t deserve it! Flip off that life support Sister! Quick!

The sooner you take that power away from your old life, the sooner you will feel the positive power of your new choices. Like I said, happiness is a choice, not a side effect.

It’s good to be happy for a change! It’s good to feel in control! It’s good to be a SELFISH WOMAN!

Happy Living!

Christia

The Most Selfish Woman in America!

I used to feel that if everything in my world didn’t turn out perfectly, it was due to my not trying hard enough. Can you say “Control Freak!” Now honestly, who can live up to those standards all the time? NO ONE!

And as soon as I accepted that reality, to relinquish control, I was completely liberated! It’s amazing! Life is so much easier now.

Relinquishing control doesn’t only include controlling the outcome of everything, it also includes feeling the need to be apart of everything.  I only do what I want to do now.  If it’s fundraising, it’s because I want to.  If it’s donating my time to a project, it’s because I want to. And I don’t mind taking the lead, if I can do it my way. Otherwise, I’m busy.

The days of solving everyone else’s problems are over. I only offer advice or my opinion when asked, or when I just can’t help myself. I don’t participate unless I really want to.  As for causes I don’t feel strongly about: instead of taking over when I see deficiencies, which is often, I just back away slowly as to not attract attention. Or I run, run like a wild Ubangi! I also don’t belong to committees anymore. Ugh! There’s too much “discussing” and not enough “doing.”  I’d rather just have my nails pulled out one by one! OR just not participate, preferably the latter.

I don’t know why I use to take things so personally. Unhappy in my life, I guess. Basically, “If anyone can fix it, it’s me!” Whether self imposed or not, “I must not be trying hard enough to make it work.” I felt like I had failed if I couldn’t “fix it”.  How ridiculous is that?

But I don’t want to live that way anymore.  I want to enjoy everything I do. Life is too short for me to try to fix other people. I have my hands full with my own self.

I highly recommend releasing the world to the powers that be. Contribute to the causes you feel strongly about. Participate in situations where you feel you will make a difference.  And let the rest go. Don’t accept all the offers presented to you. You know you don’t want to do all of them anyway. Be selective in how you spend your time.

You will more effective if you are more selective.

Happy Living!

Christia

The Most Selfish Woman in America!

Don’t you just hate it when you discover that you are human?

You go along being the strong one… deflecting the incoming… cleaning up the debris.

Then all of the sudden you are the emotional one. You, the one who never lets them see you cry… and yet now it just takes over without asking! What’s that about?

Now is when you have to put your hands up and say  ”Take it God!  I need your help!”

I’ve always prided myself on being bullet proof when it come to emotional control. But lately, I’m being humbled. The amount of change that has hit me all at once seems really BIG.

I’m sure this is a lesson that I needed to learn. But, damn, I hate it! It Hurts! And I don’t like “Hurts!” And I don’t like to cry. I look UGLY when I cry. I say again, UGLY!

I’m so tired of this sh**. I got a divorce trying to get away from any more of this sh**. And the reality is, you can’t escape it. As long as you have mutual children, you can’t escape. That is the hard, fast reality of marrying the wrong person. Even divorcing them isn’t good enough!

But you know what? I will no longer choose to participate in his chaos. It sucks the life out of me, and I have consciously made the decision not to live like that any more. Ever!

I don’t want to perpetuate that negative, ugly way of living. I will never participate again. That is my promise to myself.

Yes, I may be hurt again, but I will still choose to respond with a positive attitude. If I don’t, who will? If I don’t lead by example, again, who will?

The time to change is now! It is time to be a SELFISH WOMAN who chooses to respond to life in a positive way. To enjoy life to the fullest, no matter what. To put myself first!

You can’t do that if your panties are in a wad. Period!

Enough said.

Happy Living!

Christia

The Most Selfish Woman in America!

Again, it’s time to be SELFISH.

It’s time to successfully make the changes needed to accomplish your Dream Life.

The keys to success are to see what you want, live what you want, and be what you want to be. It’s that powerful!

See it!

Live it!

Be it!

The forces in the universe will align and contribute to making your Dream Life come true. But you have to do your part, which is…repeat after me:

See it!

Live it!

Be it!

Visualize what your Dream Life looks like… what your job is, what house you live in, what car you drive, where you vacation. What your physique looks like, what your hair looks like. What type of man you have sitting in your 2-door convertible, top down, driving up HWY 101 in California, your scarf flapping in the breeze. I can see it!

The more detail you attach to the vision, the more real it will become.

The sooner you start living as if the dream is real, the sooner it will become real. It’s the “live as if” theory.

Live as if you already are that person in your Dream Life. If you believe it, they believe it! Attitude is the greatest asset you have. And it is all in your control.

Attitude is what separates success from failure. Once you achieve a certain level of competence, attitude takes over. Belief in yourself will take you to your goal.

If you want to be a glamourous version of yourself, live like it. If you want to be the vivacious, dynamic person in your vision, be it, live it, just do it!

It doesn’t matter what others say about the new you. You may hear “That’s not the real you!” from old “friends”, but the reality is this is the new you. To hell with them! No one will hold you back from achieving your Dream Life! Especially old “friends!” Remember, you’ve divorced yourself from that mind set. Don’t fall back into it.

Do not tolerate any more negativity in your life. It will only suck the determination out of you. And we can’t have that!

Eliminate as much negative input from your daily life as possible. I’m serious. Cut out the news if you have to. Stop reading the paper, or your stock portfolio. Stop exposing yourself to cynical, negative people. That means family, too. And none of that mindless, draining, numbing TV.

Now is when you need positive reinforcement, not life leaching negativity.

Surround yourself with what makes you happy. Fresh flowers, candles, music, color, laughter, happy people. Now it is more important than ever before to be see the beautiful, positive side of life. It will feed your soul, and give you the strength to make your Dream Life a reality.

Happy Living!

Christia

The Most Selfish Woman in America!